Scientists are careful to remain objective, but they are also fascinated by empathy. William Ickes, a psychologist at the University of Texas and one of the most prolific and respected researchers in the field of empathy research, made the following incredibly powerful statement in his book EmpathicAccuracy.
Empathic reasoning is the mind-reading of everyday life ...... Empathy is probably the second greatest thing the mind can do, and the greatest is consciousness itself.
First, we are conscious - awake and aware that we ourselves are thinking and feeling. Second, we are capable of empathy, which means that we can understand each other on a deeper level, authentically feel what others are feeling, and understand their thoughts, ideas, motives, and judgments.Empathy is the bond that connects people to each other, allows us to think before we act, to understand people who are in pain, teaches us how to use our reasoning skills to balance our emotions, and inspires us to strive toward the highest ideals that people are capable of pursuing. Without empathy, we would all be wandering around the planet like unconnected pieces of matter, bouncing off each other with a quick “hello” if we happened to bump into each other. We are awake but not feeling, aware but indifferent, and full of emotions but unable to understand or influence them.

Empathy increases our awareness of others' thoughts and feelings and shows us how to live fully and wholeheartedly. Empathy wants most of all to make the self more vast, and in fact that is the essence of empathy - to expand your life into the life of another, to put your ear into another's soul, and to listen with your heart to the most urgent murmurings there. Who are you? How do you feel? What do you think about? What do you value most? These are the questions empathy needs to explore. Empathy is both mischievous and curious, and focuses on communication in every moment. Empathy has the soul of a poet, the heart of a child, and the wisdom of a prophet. At least that's what empathy looks like when it's done in a friendly and helpful way. But the dark side of empathy is an equally important part of the story I'm about to tell. The truth is that people influence you through empathy every day. Your boss uses professional ethics or your fear of being fired to talk you into working overtime;

Your loved ones shower you with compliments to try to get you to forget a conversation that didn't go your way; your child's eyes hold tears when his or her demands aren't met, partly out of frustration and partly, obviously, because they want you to change your mind. “Dad, you work so hard, I don't even think I'll ever get a chance to spend some time alone with you again.” My 16-year-old daughter Alaina said this with emotion in her words. Then she flashed me a winning smile, “So, can you take me and Erica to the mall this afternoon?” I knew I was being manipulated, but I still found this melodramatic comment from my daughter rather inviting. That's the key point - as long as you know what's going on, you can decide for yourself whether or not you want to cooperate. Empathy will tell you when it's okay to give consent and when to say no. Empathy knows how to set boundaries and draw lines. Empathy protects you from harm as it teaches you how to be open to different experiences in life. When used with good intentions, empathy can mend deep and long-lasting rifts in human relationships. After first
dealing with hundreds of patients, I have witnessed how empathy can foster mutual understanding. I have seen how empathy can work miraculously to smooth out tensions and allow people to understand themselves better. I firmly believe that more than any other ability, it is the ability to empathize that is the key to building loving relationships between people and eliminating the loneliness, fear, anxiety, and despair that is affecting the lives of so many of us. Empathy is a bridge that allows us to cross the gap between people. Led by empathy, we are able to expand our boundaries to unexplored spaces for deeper, more genuine relationships. Through self-expansion, we are able to empower our inner lives with vibrant energy and a sense of meaning. Through
understanding others, we can experience the most meaningful experiences in life - gratitude, humility, tolerance, forgiveness, kindness and love. I believe empathy makes the world a kinder, safer place. If the connection to each other is lost, if the focus is only on one's own needs, always judging rather than forgiving others, then life is much harder for anyone. The sadness and pain of life is easier to accept if the relationship with others and with oneself is strengthened through empathy. Empathy doesn't cost anything, so it's not something that only the rich, the well-educated or the well-read can have. Empathy is an ability that everyone can have. And empathy spreads - if you “empathize” with someone, they will “empathize” with you twice as much. My fascination with empathy also stems from my upbringing. I grew up in an environment where people were very connected to each other. Neighbors interacted with each other, and aunts, uncles, and cousins often stopped by on Saturday afternoons. Families often sat in the porch or on the front steps after dinner to relax or to chat with passersby. The funeral officiant knew the furniture store owner, the furniture store owner knew the bank clerk, and the bank clerk knew the kids from the high school soccer coach's family. Things like tolerance, forgiveness, faith, and hope are not just ideals, they are tangible experiences we have every day.